Of late I have been questioning a lot about the meaning of this life, our existence, the purpose we've come to this world...though some answers are there in front of me some aren't. You feel in this fuss that you feel restless to find the answers of the unknown.
I thought the best way is to start this journey by penning down this journal with all the questions I have which Include a lot about me, my thoughts both positive and negative traits... these are essential owing to the fact that I am undertaking a truthful exercise. Digging deep down. Uphold the utmost honesty. This allows for my self-rediscovery:-)
Self-assessment -
I’m penning down few adjectives that describe me the most:
An Optimist - I consider myself to be an optimist because I always hope and expect events and plans, and everything surrounding me to turn out well and that I look with a smile, positive attitude on the future. I’m absolutely sure that being optimist is a lot better than being a pessimist. There are days when I feel lost but then I see the goodness around and feel all will be better tomorrow and this time shall pass like before.
Learner for Life - Ever since I have come to the senses and got a little experience in life I have realized I am a child with curiosity and hungry to learn each day. It's not because someone else thinks that I "Have" to, it's because I WANT to.
Self Aware - Being a Self-motivated learner, I tend to have a deeper understanding of my own strengths and weaknesses. I know where I am lacking, where I need help, aware of my strengths which I tend to use to overcome those weaknesses. I guess it's important to be aware than to be delusional.
Faithful - Important trait for me to make some solid connections, this has helped me being 'truthful' in my relationships. I stay true to people who are close to me, I may not make many friends but when I make, they last forever. For me, reliability is not a choice: it is a duty. People can trust me and they do. I understand the importance of doing exactly what I say.
Humility - To describe this adjective it's important to know the real meaning of humility I guess it's the feeling or attitude that you have no special importance that makes you better than others or having a lack of pride. At first glance, humility seems like a negative quality, almost like a sign of weakness rather than a strength. But I guess it's the biggest strength one can imbibe. People are not big or small because of their experience/ culture/ creed/ backgrounds but because of their deeds. I guess with whatever little I know and understand of myself I don't judge people really based on their background (work/religion/color...)but what they are in real and how they see life. and If I get a chance to learn something from them I would not leave a chance.
An Adventurous - There are too many definitions of this adjective. Not necessarily what I mean of this may have the same meaning to you. According to me going out of your comfort zone to open yourself up to the experiences and beauty that life gives you, no matter what path you choose to go on is adventurous. I guess I do fit in this category a lot since I am always up to some curiosity to know something which I don't know. I love taking each experience, regardless of whether I know the outcome or not and facing it head-on. It is about seeing the world from a different perspective, even if I’ve seen it a million times before.
Assertive - Being an Assertive person I'm very honest about my thoughts and feelings in a particular situation, instead of losing my cool I tend to put myself on others ' shoes. Listen to the person actively and mostly considerate of other people’s perspectives. I generally maintain control over my feelings and confront if required when I’ve made a mistake.
Carefree - "Life is all about exploring, chasing passion, and pursuing things that give you eternal happiness. People who set themselves free from unnecessary attachments and continue doing things their way can make the most of this opportunity called LIFE!" I guess by this definition I can state a few characteristics which describe this better -
I regret nothing - I always think What’s done is done! I do not cling on to my past and remorse about the bad experiences. Even if I had the dumbest ex or made a fool of myself somewhere I generally just laugh at myself at the thought of it and think how crazy I was. Because nothing really is a big deal!!
Freedom - With time I have realized the great deal of freedom that it means to me."Freedom is the oxygen of my life." Not only do I love my own freedom, I also respect others' freedom. I often get along with people who set me free and do not smother me.
I am a Thinker - When I seriously mull over something, I forget everything and zero-in my mind over the subject of thinking. My friends call me a lost personality, absent-minded, a day-dreamer, scattered-brain or maybe crazy. But only I know what my mind is up to!
I live in the present! - I believe in making the most of my present. If I am having a cup of coffee with my friend at a coffee shop which I am enjoying the most or chatting up with somebody, the only thing matters to me at that moment is those sweet-talks with my friend. I will find all the happiness in it! I will not care about what other things are there in my life.
I am an agony aunt - Because of my happy-go-lucky and cheerful nature, generally people love my company and like sharing their problems with me. I will be all ears to their problems and give them the most practical advice. If I am not able to solve a problem, I'll definitely try to help them boost their mood.
I forgive people easily - I do get hurt when people play selfish and mean. But I forgive them. Not because I want to act or feel great. I forgive people because I don’t believe in laying a guilt trip on others, nor do I like walking with a baggage forever.in short "life is too short to keep grudges forever".
I am sometimes bad at showing emotions - Being carefree does not mean that I do not care. I deeply care for everything close to my heart. That's the problem also since it gets difficult to express and I keep within me; the only problem is I am bad at expressing my feelings. If someone says that they care about me or I mean the world to them, I might just sit still and do nothing because I have no clue how to react somehow at that very moment, even if I love that person a lot.
I generally go with the flow - When I hit a rough patch in life and am not able to distinguish right from wrong, Lot of times, I will not put a lot of elbow grease to solve my problems. I generally prefer going with the flow because I know what’s gonna happen will happen anyway!
Little things make me Happy! - I am a staunch believer of “happiness is an inside job”. Little things like a baby’s smile, a sweet text from my friend, a call from someone I had been thinking about or just a rainy day can make my day. My friends sometimes wonder what keeps me always elated. Being an optimist I guess I get happy with little things in life:-)
Hate Planning long term - My life is not a plan. In fact, I love unpredictability. If I am bored on some weekend, I might make a plan in a jiffy and pack my bags for a weekend getaway. Because that’s how I roll, I don't sit with an itinerary forever to plan my trips. Yes, that's disturbing for many around me since they need proper planning and I go with my gut..that's one of the reasons for going for solo adventures. If I have decided to go on a rough road trip alone or a trek I will do it sooner or later. I will do it and get it out of my system. Don't wait for that longer...Else my soul will not be at peace. It is what it is!
Romantic - My capacity of watching romantic movies, smallest thing like receiving flowers without reasons or getting compliment from someone I am having crush on...gives me butterflies like a child getting a candy free in a candy shop...seriously:-)..I tends to cry in emotional scenes in movies...or imagining someone I am having crush on loving me unconditionally. I hopelessly imagine being the center of someone's life whom I love the most yes that's the bubble I still live in:)
Outspoken & Opinionated - don't know if it's a blessing or a curse - Being outspoken has helped me in a lot of ways and also has put me into trouble as well, one of them being that I will ALWAYS stand up for myself when I am in a sucky situation. I am not the kind of person anyone can walk all over or talk down too. I stand up for myself. I don’t allow people to treat me like shit and get away with it. I will let you know straight up that you pissed me off. Sometimes it works, sometimes people take offense of that. But maybe because I am too honest and righteous. I don’t keep that feeling for long and speak what I feel is correct.
So that's a lot about me, I have come to an end of this part of my journal...I am little scared to be true about myself to the world. But at the same time, feeling lighter than before realizing how does it matter if through this you guys know me better...
To know LIFE better I will keep penning down my thoughts to clear my head off, may be this way I will unfold the purpose of my existence.
